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Pink Taco Grand Opening Party: Panuchos, Margaritas, Porn Stars, and Slash

For a place whose name makes grown men giggle like teenage boys, we can actually see going back to Harry Morton's Pink Taco, which opens today in the Century City mall, for drinks and burritos sometime. The opening party was a total scene last night, maybe a little too much for the mall crowd. It's destined to be a hot spot, if not for all the agent's assistants who need to drown their sorrows in tequila while their bosses clink champagne glasses at Craft, than for the hordes of teens that prowl around the mall. There were plenty of the former and some of the latter at the party. And then there were all the assholes.

If our memory serves, the LA Pink Taco is much much larger than the one in Vegas, with a giant square bar right when you walk in, a patio that overlooks Santa Monica Boulevard, and tons of big booths and tables inside. Strings of lights hang from piecemeal wood rafters, with shiny hubcaps everywhere, custom-designed low-rider bikes, Latina pin-up-girl wallpaper, folksy Mexican tin light fixtures, and lucha libre murals. It's fun, raucous, colorful. Very themey, which perfectly fits a mall.

Back to the party, in flashes: Little people in lucha libre masks and sombreros, sexy men in chaps on stilts, lots of tequila, not enough food, packed patio. Amy Smart, Tom Arnold, Entourage stars Rex Lee and Kevin Connolly (not together), Ron Jeremy, and some guy who's the "king of porn, you know, like celebrity porn, like Paris Hilton porn" all roaming about. Other than that, the typical Hollywood scene. 13-year-old Paris- and Lindsay-in training had no patience for photo booth line; went back to watch red carpet. Later seen with teen-size Britney, Brody, et al. stringing through the crowd. We take over "reserved" booth because no one else was, nice waiters bring trays of signature tacos (actually pretty tasty), and more drinks. Waiting in line at bathroom, some guy comes out and tells long line that the "bathroom will close for 10 minutes." What the hell? All for Jessica Alba who apparently can't pee with the plebes. Eye daggers. Slash shows up. Wears the hat and glasses so no one forgets that he's Slash. Sits in booth next to us. Shriek! Boo! Party gets up and moves to more VIP VIP booth after Brett Ratner introduces himself to the rocker. The band starts; eye-makeup guys sing rock versions of "Like a Virgin" and "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun." Two songs in, fire marshal arrives. Attempts to beat valet line unsuccessful. Fucking chaos ensues at valet booth because aforementioned assholes continuously cut line to throw money and "i'm better than you" attitude at five overwhelmed valets. Eventually we bribe $20 to get keys and drive our own car out of the garage. The end.
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