For six years now, Beverly Hills restaurant SUR has acted as the de facto set dressing for mega-hit Bravo reality shows The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and Vanderpump Rules. And despite what you might think given the dubiousness of much of reality television, the restaurant is actually wide open and ready to accept your business. If anything, the place is probably mostly supported by tourist dollars these days, which makes it all the funnier when hilarious GQ writer and Twitter personality Caity Weaver dropped a storm of tweets about her experience at SUR last night in Beverly Hills.
If you want to start from the beginning and savor the whole thing like a gorgeous grape on a bed of pillowy whipped cream (more on that in a moment), then begin feasting here:
My cousin and I lived a fairytale last night. We visited a restaurant where many of our favorite celebrities are forced to work. Yes...SUR.— Caity Weaver (@caityweaver) April 26, 2017
Things don’t start out on a high note, which makes it even more unbelievable to say that it’s all downhill from here. Max, a major character on the series, was indeed their waiter for the night (no word on whether or not the show participants are contractually obligated to actually work shifts there, but it’s easy to assume so). When Weaver’s cousin asked for a few slices of lemon with her water, here’s what was brought out:
My cousin asked for lemon with her water, and Max brought a lemon mutilated in a way we had never seen before. Cut by a madman. pic.twitter.com/pvoxVPVIFz— Caity Weaver (@caityweaver) April 26, 2017
Mutilated, indeed. Weaver then spends some time deconstructing the “iconic” fried goat cheese balls (which a busser refers to as a salad, somehow), before moving on to what may be the most insane thing of all: a grape.
It’s not just any grape, mind you. The single piece of fruit in question comes atop a flattened swipe of whipped cream at the far end of a plated crepe dessert that arrived more than 30 minutes after it was ordered. Shame on you, Max, for all of it. For the food’s lateness, for that single grape (is it meant to be shared? Garnish only? A kitchen mistake? Let’s hope this is a future plotline). All of it.
Weaver and her companion spend the rest of their evening exploring the bathrooms (they are delicately described as “affording privacy” which is kind of a base level for any restroom), spotting other cast members, and generally taking in the oddball show. The ultimate consensus?
Overall: a bad restaurant filled w/our fav celebs, sexy like a vegas brothel, unique in that none of the menu items completely made sense— Caity Weaver (@caityweaver) April 26, 2017
SUR Restaurant in Beverly Hills is open daily for dinner only, from 5:30 p.m. to 11 p.m. (and 1 a.m. on Friday and Saturday nights).